Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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