oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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