No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
