I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
