grandma shit on top of the toilet
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
