Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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