did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
