I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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