Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
