my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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