So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
