I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
