I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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