it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize