I want to have your abortion
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
