She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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