I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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