after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm bleeding and have questions
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