dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It's like God shit irony all over that family
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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