This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
