is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize