you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
