she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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