During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
