Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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