He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
