i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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