ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
false alarm. still invincible.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
