I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
