im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
