piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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