walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
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