I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
