guys are not supposed to queef...right?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
