I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
