Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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