Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize