i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
