drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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