I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
