that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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