Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
