You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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