fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
