like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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