is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
