you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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