Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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