I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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