he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize