You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
