You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
