call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
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