just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
