My sheets look like a crime scene.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
