He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
